She's nice but...

Today was exam day which is one of my favourite days of all! Two hours of review in the morning which means I get to sit at my desk and catch up on emails and do a little reading while panicked students attempt to cram mountains of vocabulary into somewhat underdeveloped brains.
Exam day also brings a great deal of mirth in terms of student mistakes in their 'creative' answers. For example a student was asked to complete the sentence I live they wrote I live water we also got I don't like to father in the car  as well as Jeddah butter good Riyadh. However, these students do create magic sometimes and one of them wrote something that really made me think, this Socratic fellow came up with this when completing the sentence She's nice but:
She's nice but, she isn't
This young man whose experience with the opposite sex is quite limited by the culture in which he lives still managed to get at the essence of the fairer sex She's nice but she isn't.
I think most of us would have answered the question differently and approached the whole task with a different frame of mind perhaps She's nice but she smells funny, She's nice but a bit overweight, perhaps a comparison She's nice but her friend is nicer, She's nice but I like her sister more. An almost infinite list of possibilities emerges and therein lies the problem with teaching a language. All the best laid plans of us teachers to force students to say what we want them to say are thrown off by the immensity of options open to speakers of the language. How were we teachers and exam crafters to know that this young man would have, in his short time on this planet, been hoodwinked by a cunning vixen who convinced this unsuspecting lad that she was nice when she wasn't.
She's nice but she isn't
A difficult lesson to be learned by one so young I hope the check mark I placed on his exam is some small consolation for the hurt that woman in fact is not nice inflicted upon him.

Realization

A student called me a 'Fucking asshole!' last week, this was rather surprising as I haven't been sworn at in anger in quite some time, I would say at least 7 or 8 years so to be insulted by an 18 year-old with attitude came as a bit of a shock. The following day when he came to class and acted as if nothing had happened was also a bit surprising and when I informed him he was not going to be attending any lessons which I was teaching he told me, 'You don't kick me out; I kick you out.' As it turns out I did in fact kick him out and I wrote my report and the administrators wrung their hands and promised that this would not stand. A few days later I saw this student had been transferred to another class and while I only saw him and didn't speak to him he didn't seem all that contrite, in fact, he maintained that same cocksure disposition as before and it struck me then that I am not part of an educational institution; I am involved in an incredibly inefficient welfare scheme.

As you may have noticed on the news and through other forms of media that the Middle East and North Africa is experiencing a wee bit of a distraction and it is generally being led by youths dissatisfied with the status quo. Understandably the powers that be, who have managed to hold on to power, are somewhat concerned with these developments and as such are taking measures to keep their particular systems running. Qatar last year increased the pay of their military and police personnel by 100%, the leaders of Dubai and Abu Dhabi increased salaries for different sectors of the economy. In the Kingdom there are a number of technical colleges and universities, mine being one of them, that pay their students to attend. In theory these young minds are to help the Saudization of the economy but in reality I believe they are here to keep them off the streets. These so-called students lack any of the requisite skills to be successful but as long as they are in the classroom shouting at each other and being bored to tears by uninspired teachers, like myself, they aren't out throwing rocks and torching cars. I guess it makes sense but for me being in the middle of this charade it does make for a number of long days. But on the bright side I do get to be a well compensated babysitter. 

Mo' Studnets, Mo' Problems

So I have moved to Jeddah from Riyadh and it's been about a little over a month. Jeddah is much nicer then Riyadh, a little more relaxed, great weather, nice restaurants, the sea, all good. Of course moving to a new city meant moving to a new school. I went from the Preparatory Year at one of the Kingdom's top universities to a recently created public-private technical college. The college was created like most things with the best of intentions; to give middle and lower class Saudis the chance to learn a trade that could provide them gainful employment in the petro-chemical or construction industry. All to the good. Being the optimistic type that I am I assumed these young Saudi men would relish the chance to study hard and get themselves a good job. Not only is the college free they are all paid a stipend to attend this institution of higher learning.

Unfortunately, I have been rather disappointed with the quality of the students. I was lucky enough to be given the evening shift working from 3-10 each evening. All the students that study in the evening have something in common, they all failed their courses in the first semester, they are the repeaters. They get to take the first three levels of English a second time. You might imagine that doing the EXACT same course with the EXACT same books would be fairly easy. This is what I imagined unfortunately, I was mistaken the language remains indecipherable to this crack group of young minds. Now some of the problem may lie in the fact that while I have 28 students on my roster I have never seen more than 22 at any one time and that was on an exam day. I have an overall attendance rate in my class of around 24%, this makes learning the language rather difficult as, if one is not in the classroom one has difficulty doing the required work. And those that do deign to come for one or two hours a day they are a true cast of characters. One of my favourites is a rather large young Saudi with a big ol' Afro, he like to wear his sunglasses during the lesson and forgetting his book in the car is also one of his favourite activities. Last week he came to the third period (he missed the first two because he was busy), and he complained that he didn't understand the exercise, I tried to explain that we had gone through the explanations over the first two hours that he had missed. This really flummoxed him and he showed such great resolve that when his phone rang he decided it was a good time to answer the phone and carry on a short conversation. The tenacity of my group is impressive. Another gem that decides to come occasionally also enjoys wearing his sunglasses at night, and believes that the answers to all his English problems can be found in his Blackberry. The look of shock on his face when he hears that he has failed every single quiz and exam is quite priceless, and the sincerity in his voice when he asks me to maybe help him, aka give him extra marks, is rather stunning. In this group clods, dolts, and malcontents there are some really good kids who do try their best and it seems to me language just isn't there thing. I have 1 student out of 28 passing the course but who knows maybe for the rest the third time will be the charm. 

White's Alright

For the second time in my life I am a visible minority. It is a bizarre feeling to be obviously foreign, to be obviously alien. Lucky for me my complexion is of the paler variety and for whatever reason these societies love whitey. I really started thinking about this recently and realized how truly strange it is to be given respect, or beneficial treatment based solely on the colour of my skin. I can't really complain I'm not sure if it's racism when I get to jump the queue. At the gym I frequent here in Jeddah there is a Pakistani janitor/maintenance man whose face completely lights up when he sees me. It's as if we are long lost brothers suddenly reunited, the immensity of his smile frightens me I can not imagine the sight of a stranger bringing me such joy. I am somewhat overwhelmed  by the attention and this sort of reaction is a fairly regular occurrence. The Filipinos who do all the work in this country always pay just a bit more attention to me and are just a bit more courteous to me than the those of the non-Caucasian variety.
This preference for white people is not confined to the Arab world I had very similar experiences in South Korea. On my first day of work as I was taking the elevator up to the school I was joined by a middle-aged man who looked at me and said, "You so handsome...ahhh you so handsome" (in a ridiculously offensive Korean accent), "You teacher here, I very happy." I would frequent a chicken restaurant there primarily because their menu had pictures and there was a cute little Korean girl who worked there. One night the owner came out and greeted me again I was informed that I was handsome and he was very appreciative of my business and that the meal was on him. Now of course I am a fairly handsome devil but these occurrences did not happen just to me other pale skinned people got the same treatment this pro-racism is apparently endemic. I heard similar stories from people who have traveled around Africa.
All of this just does my head in. White people have basically spent the past 500 years raping and pillaging the coloured lands around the world. Apparently the constant pounding of our chest telling all who would listen that we are the best in the world and I guess everyone else just sort of agreed. It's a mad, mad world I guess I'm just glad I'm living in it with the right pigmentation.  

Where Am I?: City Living

Where Am I?: City Living: I recently got back from a rather amazing trip to Istanbul and it got me thinking about the aspects of a city that make it appealing. I have...

City Living

I recently got back from a rather amazing trip to Istanbul and it got me thinking about the aspects of a city that make it appealing. I have had the good fortune to see a number of interesting places all over the world and I would have to say my favourite three metropolises have been Edinburgh, Scotland; Prague, Czech Republic; and the aforementioned Istanbul in Turkey. I also think Vancouver is a fantastic city but I disqualified it as it is basically my hometown. (I am going to discount Odessa, Ukraine as well as a hometown because my Ukrainian friends will freak out if they are not included, but everyone should know that Odessa has the second best Opera house in the world)
I boiled the essence of a remarkable city down to three components:
1) It's all about the levels - the topography of the city must be varied. There should be some hills and some valleys. When the city is flat you can't appreciate the scope, one of the best parts of city life is thinking about the mass of humanity that has come together to share a small patch of earth.
Edinburgh, Prague, and Istanbul all have these amazing hills in the city where you get amazing sight lines and on the flip side when you are at the bottom looking up you get a real sense of awe.
2)Water - there needs to be some water to look at. There is something magical about watching waves crash against the shore or watching it flow along the banks with the cityscape as a backdrop. I could spend all day just sitting near a body of water watching the waves and the people around it is so relaxing.
3) Getting Around - there needs to be a way to get from point A to point B without wanting to gouge your own eye out with a spoon. Istanbul and Prague have pretty bad ass public transportation systems which get you where you need to be although 24 hour systems would be much appreciated by those who can't finish thier drinking by midnight. Edinburgh is so small that you can easily walk from anywhere to anywhere with the added bonus of finding little hidden pubs to stop off for a pint or two or three...
Bonus Round - having hundreds or thousands of years of history is a huge bonus. Standing on the same spot where a king, prince, or knight stood at some point in the past is an exhilarating feeling (at least if you are a history geek like myself). 

Old Age New Beginnings

I recently turned 30 which has symbolic value probably based upon its roundness. Like most birthdays it's a time to reflect upon the past and make plans for the future. Most people ask if I feel older and I can't say the turning has made me feel older but over the past year I do feel a certain new maturity and I can say at one point in the last year I did truly feel elderly.
I was getting ready for work and I tried to pick something up, nothing terribly heavy but it may as well have been a small elephant for when I bent over and tried to lift (not with the legs but with the back which of course means trouble). I felt something pop in my lower back and crumpled to the floor like that awful woman from the "I've fallen and can't get up commercials" I struggled my way to bed and was incapacitated for the next 2 days. Hobbling around and relying on the kindness of friends to come and shop and cook for me. I had never felt so old than over the course of those two weeks crouching over and shuffling my feet trying to get to work.
More generally I feel a shift in terms of my adulthood, I think people go through life stages childhood, teenage years, young adulthood, and so on. I feel like I have passed from young adulthood those first years of true independence and the ability to fulfill our selfish desires and moved into a period where responsibility and empathy for others takes on a greater role.
As a birthday gift to myself and as a happy coincidence my visa in Saudi Arabia recently expired so I treated myself to a visa run to Istanbul for a few days while I wait for my employment situation to be resolved. I had been to Turkey two years ago and enjoyed my time immensely so I was more than happy to return. After a few months in Riyadh, Istanbul is a veritable oasis. I am struck by the immense differences of these two leading Muslim countries. Turkey is officially a secular country filled with Muslims  religion is a private matter for each individual to concern themselves with.  The city is littered with some of the most spectacular mosques in the world that have housed believers for hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of years and the call to prayer is called 5 times per day  but life does not stop for the religion those individuals who wish to pray can pray and the rest of us can continue to eat and shop and enjoy the sights of the city. This seems to strike the right balance to me as opposed to the Kingdom's strict enforcement of all things religious. I will be back in Saudi in a few days albeit in a new city which will hopefully lead to better results.